This humorous “what if” tale of Robinson Crusoe promoting the Epicurious app is a must-share. Wish I wrote this one…
Robinson Crusoe Introduces the Epicurious App to Cannibals in the Hopes They’ll Alter Their Menu
Crusoe and his companion Friday have agonized about how to rehabilitate the cannibals who frequently visit the Island of Despair to feast on their prisoners. Since the cannibals have no concept that what they are doing is morally wrong, rather than prosecute them for their deeds, Crusoe has hatched a plan to distract them from their love of human flesh with the mouth-watering recipes loaded on his handy Epicurious app, which has kept him well fed and happy during his time as a castaway on the island.
Chief cannibal: “What the … ?”
Head chef cannibal: “Oh look, dessert!”
Nutritionist cannibal: “Mmm, white meat.”
Crusoe: “I see you’re getting ready to feast on these prisoners here.”
Head chef cannibal: “That’s right, my friend! Would you like to join us? Please, we invite you to have a seat in the Simmering Pot of Honored Guests. The carrots and onions are for your comfort.”
Crusoe: [Nervously] “Ha ha. No, that’s OK. I just wanted to, you know, have a chat about food. A friendly trade of foodie tips between the cooks. Maybe expand your culinary horizons.”
Nutritionist cannibal: “Did he just insult my menu? Bring me my spear.”
Is Robinson Crusoe toast (or grilled)? Find out here.