Third Day of Funny Valentines

5 Feb

Day 3 – Scented candles

For the third day of my Seven Days of Funny Valentines, I give you opium candles.  The idea came from Gayot, pronounced, guy-OH.  Really.  They have an article on top 10 romantic gifts and numero uno is the opium poppy gift set.  For $105, you can pretend to lead a debauched life in the underbelly of your living room… or bedroom.  Wherever. 

Why not, eh.  So I searched for the gift set in the DL & Company website as noted on the blurb, but my search for the opium poppy gift set was futile.  However, I enjoyed exploring the delicately erotic website and eventually found a “History Lesson” gift set which comes in three different volumes.  Volume One actually contains opium scented candles called, opium den.  The description for opium den goes as such, “Collapse into a languid, hazy cloud and submit to smoldering resins, opiates and tobacco fumes.”  Already I have a headache.  In the same set, you’ll also find dia de los muertos.  Again, for those of you who love Halloween and Valentine’s Day, take advantage of this gift.  Dia de los Muertos is described to have “the devotional notes of marigolds and frankincense tantalize and evoke both the living and the dead.”  Ehrr, I suppose necrophiles and zombies celebrate Valentine’s Day too.

On that note, I’m going to move on.  Since this is the holiday of love, it’s only appropriate that I recommend Modern Alchemy’s Eros votive candle.  I think the Greek god of love, a.k.a. Cupid, would be proud to know that a candle purported to stimulate sexual tension exists.  Unfortunately, the candle is out of stock.  Sorry.  You’ll have to get your stimulation elsewhere.  For the libertines out there, consider Brothel… 

*No food-related stuff on this article, but I promise to make it up later.  Just let me take care of my V-day hang-ups first.*


2 Responses to “Third Day of Funny Valentines”

  1. ryancr 6, February 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    There’s an extended power outage and you’re down to the last remaining candles– which do you light?
    A) Opium Den
    B) Speakeasy
    C) Secret Society
    D) All of them, hope mix of smells cancels each other out.

    • chroniccravings 8, February 2011 at 1:21 pm #

      What, what. You forgot to mention E) Cake Walk. I choose E. 🙂

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