Second Day of Funny Valentines (NSFW)

3 Feb

Day 2 – Sexy Lingerie

Day dos of Seven Days of Funny Valentines and today we have flimsy pieces of cloth and candies constructed in a way that leaves nada to the imagination.  There are tons and tons of teeny tiny teddies and undies out there, that you could surprise your sweetheart with miniscule pieces of fabric strategically covering your sexy parts every day of Valentine’s week.  For the whole month, too.  Or year, even.  Just look at the following fetching examples.

If you love Halloween and Valentine’s Day, you can celebrate both by wearing a costume for your honeybunches of honey bunch!  Make him wonder this Valentine’s Day by wearing a Wonder Woman costume!

With so many choices out there and so many lingerie purveyors besides Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood, I thought it’d be fun to join the ranks of small-time tawdry but creative underwear designers and start my own collection.

Tissue and Floss lingerie

I can almost imagine this conversation happening…

(Girl shows off her Floss and Tissue lingerie)
Boy: Wow.  I mean, wow.
(Girl does a pirouette)
Boy: How does it come off?
(Girl splashes water on her bra.)
Boy: Wow, it’s practically dissolving!  Is that mint I smell?

Here’s something food-related… During the heyday of disco, platforms, and bell-bottomed pants, the edible underwear was born, marketed as “candypants” by Cosmorotics, Inc.  Don’t believe me?  Look it up, wiki style.  And from candypants, a series of edible underwear was born.

Peach gummy undies, anyone?  Anyone?

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3 Responses to “Second Day of Funny Valentines (NSFW)”

  1. ryancr 3, February 2011 at 1:54 am #

    *Boss walks in*
    “No wait, this isn’t what it seems. This blog’s about food. Uh… that’s edible…”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Seven Days of Funny Valentines « Chronic Cravings - 5, February 2011

    […] the third day of my Seven Days of Funny Valentines, I give you opium candles.  The idea came from Gayot, pronounced, guy-OH.  Really.  They have an […]

  2. Seven Days of Funny Valentines « Chronic Cravings - 9, February 2011

    […] 1)      He got the reservations, you take off dessert.  (As in, take off those yummy candy underpants.) […]

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