Nothing says Valentine’s Day like chocolates and roses. But no more, my friends. Nowadays, there are gifts galore designed to titillate, seduce, amuse, and in some cases, excite the gag reflex. I’ve never been one to celebrate this day of mush and saccharine. And to my Hub’s delight, I’ve never subjected him to any silly “V-day” expectations, all because I hail from the school of thought that believes “everyday should be (fill in this blank with a holiday)”.
By the by… To whom Valentine’s Day matters, you have about 14 days to get something for your honey bunny. Hop to it!
It should already be clear that I’m not a V-day follower. However, I’m a big fan of Valentine’s Day gifts — not to give or receive, but to poke fun of. And I can’t be blamed. Really, the bombardment of ads marketing “sexy gifts”, “romantic gifts”, “gifts for your sweetheart”, etc. is enough to make one rock themselves and cry in a corner. After I did that, I visited those damn sites to see for myself the Valentine goods being promoted. All my giggling and laughing subsequently left me feeling childish and also activated an endorphin rush. Ahhh, bliss. When I eventually calmed down, it dawned on me that some of the gifts can be made right in the comforts of home. So DIYers, get your tools, instruments, gears, and whatever on! I’m about to dole out a couple of ideas on how to make Valentine’s Day truly personal.
Henceforth, today and every other day until the day before V-day, I will promote Valentine’s gifts not in the name of love and romance, but in comedy. And cooties. The last part is a segue for a cheesy health PSA that I feel obligated to pass on because of my public health education. If you want love, put on a glove. Right then, here I go for Seven Days of Funny Valentines.
Day 1 – Chocolate Body Frosting
What is more delicious and downright disgusting delectable than chocolate body frosting. Oh just imagine the orifices and crevices that sugary cream could find its way in. Hmmm, yuck. I mean, yum.
For those who do not want to shell out $19.50 plus S&H. Check out the recipe for chocolate body paint below (you can open the page by clicking on the image). The recipe serves 30. Now you can have that
orgy party you’ve always wanted.
See you in a couple of days for Day Two of my Seven Days of Funny Valentines!