Not hot chihuahua meat!

21 May
Originally written May 1, 2008 – May Day!


Playing Grand Theft Auto IV had an unexpected effect on my appetite.



When in need of revitalization, meaning when the health level of the game’s main AI (artificial intelligence) character Niko Bellic—a very complex character—decreases I either have him eat out with his AI buddies or buy a hotdog from a nearby stand when convenience is a priority.

Witty and dark don’t begin to describe the humor in regards to the game’s content, nothing escapes this humor thus food isn’t singled out.

Cheeky AI street vendors advertise their business by shouting the most ridiculous remarks about their food products.

“Try my hot chihuahua meat!” shouts one.

“Some of these are fresh! Fresh! Fresh!” cries another.

But my favorite remark is one that the AI street vendors sometimes say after Niko makes his purchase of the questionable street eats… “Just so you you know, I’m not liable.” It cracks me up each time.

With Niko constantly getting hurt due to his erratic driving (via my controlling) and involvement in shootouts, constant trips to the hotdog vendors become a necessity. Which brings us to my hotdog craving. Niko shouldn’t be the only one enjoying the cylindrical-shaped spiced minced meat wonder—what a mouthful!

Yes I know, but sausages are a mouthful to eat. For me.

Although Niko eats his meaty panacea sans condiments, I want my hotdog slathered with relish, yellow mustard, and ketchup. Mmm, righteously yummy.

Waiting for a condiment smothering

Enough chit-chat.

Let’s chow!


Ryan likes his hotdog with grated parmesan